Our IVF Story part IV (Egg Retrieval and Sperm Aspiration)

Today was a great day! We got 11 eggs! Good thing too, it was feeling like Easters inside me these past few days!
We drove down with my parents this morning leaving at 4:30 am. The roads were clear and we got there in record time, (about 30 minutes early). We signed all kinds of consent forms and then got prepped for surgery. Poor Jeff was first and the nurse just couldn't get his vein for the IV. 4 pokes later and a lot of vein slapping and it was in. He is really brave about that stuff, but I was about to pass out watching it all happen, knowing I was next!
When the urologist arrived he took Jeff in the operating room and I waited in anticipation.
In the meantime, the nurse who did Jeff's IV decided she didn't want to do mine so a different nurse came in for me. I was relieved until I realized it was going to be the same for me as it was for Jeff!! :( She had the turnicut on my lower arm and began slapping my veins. Ahhh! I can't stand that! I just closed my eyes and told myself to take deep breaths. I really thought I was going to pass out! After trying to "snag" and "fish" (yes, she really used those words!) for 2 veins on that hand, she took the needle out and said,"lets try your other hand". Same story there. In fact, my hand was falling asleep and turning blue when she said she had to milk my veins a little!!! She had me hang my hand down towards the floor and then she squatted down low to the ground and massaged the blood down into my hand!!! I was just dying! I've never had a problem with IV's! Finally, finally, finally, she got it in and all was well. I really hate that part!
Right before they were to take me into my procedure room, Jeff's doctor came out all done! He was grinning the biggest grin and giving two vigorous thumbs up! He was so happy about Jeff's biopsy. He said Jeff fell right to sleep, then lifted his head and asked,"whats your name again?" then went right back to sleep. haha! He slept through it all! The Dr. was happy they were able to get a lot of sperm from one tiny incision. Looking out for my husband I told Dr. That Jeff really doesn't want to be sent home with an empty sack...you know...just sayin'. He laughed and joked in return, "well I did remove one testicle, just to calm him down a bit and make him more mellow for ya at home." haha!

I went into my surgery in good spirits and everything seemed to happen so fast! Before I knew it I was sound asleep in a wonderful dream. I awoke to what seemed like a nurse's face an inch from my face saying they got 11 eggs! Wow 11! Their average is 9 so 11 is fantastic! They helped me to a recovery room where I told one of the nurses several times that I thought she looked so pretty today! :) (at least I was nice coming off of the drugs!)
They brought Jeff in and we both smiled at each other and rested for a while in our chairs and matching gowns.
Dr. Hammoud peaked in and with a big smile asked, "do you want to have twins? You have 11 really good eggs!" Of course I said yes, because each embryo has a 50% chance, but we don't really have to decide that at this point anyway. I think I'm leaning toward two just to up the chances of having one. I don't want to be sent home with an empty nest!
The little eggs will all be fertilized today through a process called ICSI (intra cytoplasmic sperm injection, where a single sperm is injected into an egg) then, they are placed inside their own Petri dishes and incubated for a few days. On Saturday we will get a phone call from the embryologist who will give details about how many are growing and how healthy they are. If a bunch die off, we may have one or two transferred back in my uterus on Sunday. If 8 or more are surviving and doing well, we will wait until day 5 and transfer one or two on that day. So far we are planning on the day five transfer falling on Tuesday, February 5th.
Two weeks after the transfer, I will have a blood test to see if I'm pregnant!
It's so neat to see the beginnings of life from this point! I am amazed at what heavenly inspired medical technology can do along with good doctors and nurses.
We are feeling very optimistic and can't wait for that call on Sat!
I do begin progesterone shots in my bum tonight. :( They warned me that these will make me really sore, and if I get pregnant I will continue them for another 6 weeks!
Gotta be brave! Wish I wasn't such a wimp!
Thanks for all the love support and prayers!
Jeff's dad and brother Eric gave us blessings last night, which helped us feel calm and reassured that we are doing the right thing. The boys got to sleep over at Grammy's house and were really good for her, they had a blast! We couldn't be more thankful and full of gratitude towards our friends and families! What a testimony of service your examples are to us! Thank you and we love you! :)

Gratitude

Whatever happens these next few days will change our lives forever! The anticipation is over the top!
Last night Jeff and I were talking and we both feel full of gratitude to our Father in Heaven. We were talking about all the small miracles that have been so mercifully placed in our lives recently. In the beginning it was the ability to acquire a loan for IVF, then the trips to Salt Lake and our parents and friends watching our kids, even Jeff's school schedule was such that all the specific days and times to be in Salt Lake he was completely available. Not to mention his preceptorship on the ICU and his biopsy surgery with 4 twelve hour shifts in a row the week before to a perfect 8 days recovery before his next shift! These are truly tender mercies! We have been so blessed to live in a wonderful ward where we have felt safe and loved enough to share this experience with close friends and neighbors. That too has helped strengthen us, give extra shoulders to cry on, and courage. Help with kids to and from school, meals, kind messages, help with our callings and sincere concern for us has been so touching! Thank you so very, very much!
We never want to be a burden on others or feel that our trials trump those anyone else may have or be having. We know so many who are in need of the Lord's blessings and we pray fervently for them. We also realize that we signed up for this! :) Though we felt inspired and guided to do so, we still brought this upon ourselves! :) So, no complaining, right? We are so happy with our family of three boys! Three kids is enough, three kids is a huge blessing we are so thankful for! We aren't trying to hog up a bunch more and hoard babies, (ok, I cant help myself at church I just have to steal them sometimes to get my fix) but we would love to add another to our family. It just always seemed like we would and should.

Wish us luck and blessings tomorrow!
Until then...

It's official!

Jeff and I are officially on schedule for our surgeries this Thursday! The nurse just called and said, "It looks like you're getting HCG!" Yay! I'm so excited to be another step closer in this process, and even more excited to have my three shots a day done with! (tonight's my last night!) I've been trying to get Jeff excited about his biopsy, but he's just not, really. We watched a video of the MESA surgery online and ever since then he's been so sensitive! ;) (I'm so mean to tease him). Today Dr. H said to me in his calm quiet voice, "yours won't be nearly as bad as his. You'll be sound asleep and won't feel a thing. He's going to be sore for a few days! "
I'm really thankful Jeff is willing to go through this for me!
The HCG is a honkin Tonkin big shot for my butt. Now that my stomach is all bruised up, might as well start on the other side right? I'm just not a shot person, and to boot, they call it the "trigger shot". (to trigger the full maturation of my eggs). But it sounds like a gun shot to the rear. Ouch!
We are expecting 7-10 eggs. I learned that the more you get sometimes means they are of lesser quality, but they won't do IVF with less than 6 so we are right on track. I feel like I have jello for insides right now, but if you think about a natural ovulation and one egg being about 2cm, and I have 7-10 each much larger than 2cm. Its no wonder it feels so strange.
I'm feeling great otherwise, and looking forward to the next part of this journey!

Update

Things are definitely starting to happen! I could hardly sleep last night because my stomach feels so funny! I drove down with my mom and sisters Emily and Hailey. It was so nice to have my neighbor and friend watch my boys and get them to and from school for me! We even came home to a delicious dinner! Thank you so much! We were a bit delayed getting there due to the major snow storm the night before and tons of traffic, but we made it safely.
Dr. Hammoud was very happy when he saw my ovaries on the ultrasound. He said I was right on track. What a relief! I was so glad to hear the medications are working! They also drew some blood to check my estrogen levels, and scheduled me to come back again tomorrow morning. It looks like surgery (egg retrieval for me and biopsy for Jeff) will be on Thursday. If my blood test levels are good tomorrow, we will be "walking the plank"! If not, Friday will be the day.
It was fun to have my mom and sisters there. At one point Dr. H was measuring my eggs and telling numbers to the nurse to record and my mom thought he was counting eggs! She couldn't believe I had 18, 24, 16, 32...eggs! Haha! Em says,"mom, those aren't eggs, he's measuring stuff.":) it was great.
We made a day of it and had some lunch at the Cheesecake factory and visited a couple stores in the City Creek mall. (Hailey was in heaven!) We are kind of on the hunt for what to wear for Christina's wedding coming up in March. So it was fun to browse and see what new things are out.
When I got home Jeff was just getting home from his shift in the ICU. I missed my boys and it was great to share the good news.
This is quite a journey for us, all new territory with uncertain outcomes. Whatever comes, I know we will be ok. We are putting all our faith in the Lord and trusting that He knows what's best for us. We are so grateful for the support of friends and family. We feel the difference your prayers are making and it give us strength and courage.

Basketball brothers

These two are having a blast playing Jr. Jazz basketball. They cheer each other on and give good pointers. So fun!

Tribute to Grandpa Page

One year ago today my beloved Grandfather Calvin Barney Page 85 passed away. January 24th 2012 4:47 PM. I was so blessed to be there by his bedside among family and loved ones. He was such a great man and I miss him dearly.
This is an excerpt from his obituary written by my mother, Cathryn Page Oldham:
He was born July 4th, 1926 in West Point, Utah, to Lena Bardella Barney and William Russell Page.
When Calvin was in his early teens, his father traded property in Ogden for a farm in Cache Valley, Nibley, and the family relocated. He attended South Cache High School and when he was 17, he proudly joined the U.S. Navy. He served in World War II and traveled extensively throughout the South Pacific. Upon returning, he met and courted his sweetheart Rose Marie Hulse. They were married June 21, 1947, in the Logan LDS Temple. They shared nearly 65 years together and were blessed with a family of seven children.
He attended Weber College where he studied and earned a degree in horology (the science of watch making and time keeping devices). The skills he learned there became a hobby he used his entire life. Later on, he enlisted in the Navy Reserves where he served his country honorably for many years.
In the early 1960's he had the opportunity to manage and operate the Beeline Gas Station on south main in Logan, which he enjoyed very much. He then went on to work at Hill Air Force Base as an instrument technology manager, retiring after 27 years.
Calvin was devoted, loving and sacrificed very much for his family. He was a stalwart and valiant member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. He was known for his dedication in any calling he was given and served as a home teacher, Sunday School teacher, Elders and high Priests quorum leader, ward clerk and Bishop.
For many years, he spent every Saturday working on cars, mowing lawns, painting houses and other service projects. He spent countless hours fixing and repairing bicycles for all the children in his neighborhood and ward primary.
Through those same-hardworking hands, he was admired for his beautiful calligraphy like handwriting. We will all cherish his loving notes, letters and cards.
His example if obedience, love, compassion, and charity blessed the lives of all who knew him.
The family wishes to express sincere appreciation to all those who lovingly served Calvin in his final years. Thank you.

I was honored to speak at his funeral.
Here is my talk:
Our loving Grandfather always had time for his Grandchildren. For many of us he took time to pick us up from dance or piano lessons, and would take some to and from school. We knew we could always rely on him. He often would make the most of these moments and take us to get hamburgers from Central Park or an Egg Mcmuffin.
He was very giving, if it wasn't a trinket or prize from a magazine, it was a trip to the dollar store to let the kids pick out a coloring book and some crayons.
Grandpa always had a sweet tooth, (and I don't think I'm the only one who knew where he kept his stash) he had juicy fruit gum in the cupboard above the stove, licorice in the drawer, and there was always ice cream in the fridge. Not to mention sodas in the garage! He loved hot dogs and peanut butter sandwiches, and he could never turn down a fresh garden tomato!
He was very particular about his yard and enjoyed having his grandchildren work in it. They mowed his lawn, shoveled his sidewalk and raked leaves. He even saved up pop cans to recycle with the grand kids. I love that he carried a handkerchief, and I know mine wasn't the only nose wiped clean by him. He took pride in being neat and tidy. I remember the first time I introduced him to my now husband Jeff he said, "He'd be a pretty handsome guy if he'd shave." it was so important that Grandpa approve of him that before Jeff asked me to marry him he asked not only for my parents' blessing, but for Grandpa's too! In fact, I think all of his granddaughters have had their guys "Grandpa approved". He'd say sweet things like, "wow your guy is one lucky fellow...he did so good to get you"...then he would add, "course you didn't do too bad yourself." with a chuckle.
Grandpa always had good advice to give on any subject. He was wise and had life experience in almost everything. All of his grandchildren and great grandchildren were special to him, he bragged over what a beautiful family he had. He made each one of us feel like we were his favorite! It was like he was waiting the whole day to see you and when you came... his day was complete. And he always told us how much he loved us! I liked to tell him he was my favorite grandpa, because he was my only grandpa. When my Dad's dad passed away he asked Grandpa Calvin to watch over my dad, then 19 with a young family. Grandpa, you did a wonderful job! I was so excited to name our first son Calvin after you! I cherish each moment as a gift from God.
Some say, "the only way to take sorrow out of death is to take love out of life."
We all know that Grandpa had an abiding love for the Savior. He had a testimony of the gospel and shared it through the many blessings he gave; blessings for newborns, baptisms, and confirmations, letters to missionaries, marriages, and Temple attendance. He paid his tithing and gave fast offerings.
We will sorely miss our beloved Grandfather who has truly enriched our lives. We will miss him in his recliner watching old westerns, we will miss him in his kitchen chair watching for the postman to come so he could give him a cold Pepsi. We will all miss hearing him say, "hi precious...is that you? How's my darling?.. And "Hi pumpkin dunkin!"And "you're so pretty, you're as beautiful as ever!" And,"hello gorgeous."...We will never forget his soft chuckle and seeing him light up when families and friends stopped by for a visit.

"Death leaves a sadness that nothing can heal, but love leaves a memory that no one can steal. "

I put together a poem in honor of Grandpa:
You know, our Grandpa was grand!
He'd sometimes disapprove, but he'd always understand.
He was a bit "gruff" around the edges, but was a soft marshmallow in the middle.
His tune seemed to sweeten over time, kind of like an antique fiddle.
He could fix just about any old thing, a bike or a car of a broken swing.
He loved watching ball games and staying up late,
Telling stories about the Navy and he and Rose Marie's first date.
He had a hot temper and never backed down from a fight,
Decked a few "deserving" souls and bragged with delight.
The cleanest car on the block was his in deed,
But he'd give you a car wash token if yours was in need.
When grandpa dished you up, you had to eat every bite
And when you're talking to your mother...(Michael)...you'd better speak nice! ;)
When you did a good job he'd give you a treat.
His loves and his hugs just couldn't be beat.
With creamies and Popcicles he'd spoil us rotten,
And on Birthdays or holidays, none were forgotten.
He loved model trains planes and cars,
Watches and jewelry were often gifts of ours.
We couldn't wait to play with Lincoln logs, Legos and more,
Outside on the tramp or under the house was never a bore.
But oh, how the winds of change have blown!
We say goodbye to him, and much that we've known!
We'll remember how he'd wait for us there in his living room chair,
To visit and chat and tell us he cared.
He had hair of silver and a heart of gold,
Oh, how I wish he'd never grow old!
He taught us that greatness had little to do with outward signs of prosperity or position,
That true beauty is found on the inside of a person.
Sweet memories of Grandpa will bring peace and comfort to our hearts
We'll love him for all those yesterday's, and all the tomorrow's that we're apart ...
For "those we love don't go away, they walk beside us everyday. Unseen, unheard, but always near, still loved still missed and very dear."
May we honor the legacy our Grandpa Calvin has left for us and celebrate his life through following his example of bearing one another's burdens, being kind, giving, gracious, and compassionate.
I know you will be watching over us now, guarding and protecting us! Thank you Grandpa! We love you!
I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ Amen.

One story a woman told us at his funeral was very touching. She told us when he was her Bishop she was in the process of a bad divorce. She needed to move out but didn't have anything or anyplace to go. She had two kids and came to him for help. She said he not only got her an apartment, but fully furnished it for her and her children. She was so touched and was able to start her life again on the right track. I loved that she told us about that, Grandpa never said anything about it to anyone, just quietly served others.


Another interesting story is that Grandpa was Jeff's family's home teacher! This was before Jeff was born, and his parents had very little. (literally a starving artist family). They said that he(Grandpa) would glue the kids' souls of their shoes together and place them under a table leg to dry abd cure overnight. Grandpa later served as Bishop Wallis's ward clerk.

I must also add that I think it's kind of cool that on the 1st anniversary if his funeral, Jeff and I are having our IVF surgeries. Kind of neat to begin new life while celebrating, loving, and missing one well-lived. :)

Our IVF Story Part III (The Pins and Needles Process)

So here we are Tuesday Jan 22nd and week three in the IVF process. Here is what my calendar looks like:

I have done really well with the Lupron shots. Almost no side effects ( I was worried about having hot flashes and craziness, but if you ask me I'm perfectly normal. (don't all crazies think they're perfectly normal?) ;)

I received a big 10lb. box of meds the other day. Talk about a humbling experience! $2500.00 in meds and I'm not even sick! Here is what it looks like:

Benny boy holding my delivery of meds!

Last night Jeff started me on two more injections they hurt a little bit more, but overall I think I'll survive. I am such a wimp about needles. I am so so so thankful that Jeff is a nurse and can administer the injections! I don't think I could do it myself. It's truly a tender mercy. I have learned so much on this journey and I'm so amazed at what people go through to have children! I hope I don't sound like I'm complaining because if it works it will be so worth it! Even If it doesn't work, at least we tried and we can move on without regrets. On Monday the 28th, I go in for an ultrasound to see how my body is responding to the stimulation drugs. These drugs are supposed to make my ovaries produce a lot of mature eggs. At least 6 or they will end my cycle and try again. With me losing the cost of medication. I don't know how on earth we would afford that so it better work the first time! :)

Just a side note. We did look into some adoption agencies, and even some other programs to help people have children. We don't qualify for these because we already have three biological children. Which is totally ok with me because we are so blessed to have our three boys and we know others who have been waiting and working so hard just to have one! This process has made me so grateful for my blessings, and I really hold my little ones more tightly!

packages of needles and drugs, yikes!

more meds, and my very own sharps container!

my lovely bruise from one lupron shot