2 months!

H&C

My babies are getting so big! I still can't believe it, even though it's happening right before my eyes. At their dr appointment Henry weighed 11lbs 4 oz and was 23 3/4 inches.  Charlie weighed 8 lbs 14 oz. and was 22 inches. They're doing great and now that it's been another week, they're weights have changed again! Henry is now 12lbs and Charlie 9 lbs 1 oz. I love the way their cheeks are filling out more and their little arms and legs are getting squishier. 

I love the way Henry likes to snuggle right into my neck like a kitty. Really, face first and as deep as he can get before falling asleep. It's the sweetest thing. He also loves his swing. Usually if I can't console him the swing does the trick. Henry is also very strong. During tummy time he holds his head up very well. He is so smiley too. So easy to get to smile, I swear he's going to laugh too any day now. Still loves his bathtime, and follows me around the room with his eyes. I love his pouty lip when he gets sad and his little voice is a bit raspy, I love it! Both babes love laying on the floor and kicking, they both are good about being changed, and neither of them has barfed in a while! (they both did the horrible projectile kind... that I learned from their dr is a good thing if they're breastfed because of the antibodies that go all through their sinuses...who knew?) 

Charlie is probably the fussiest, but I think it's due to gas and digestion bubbles. I can feel them when I hold him. He likes when I rub and massage his tummy to help move those bubbles through. He likes when daddy holds him facing out, and likes when I hold him facing in with a binky in his mouth and a blanket wrapped around him. He's not a huge fan of the swing, but really likes his vibrating bouncer. He's not as strong to hold his head up during tummytime, but is so chill. He sucks on his little fist and has even fallen asleep a couple of times. Charlie has been a little stiff in the neck, he tilts to the right, then to the left and is back to the right again. The dr doesn't seem worried about tirticollis at all, but I keep stretching his muscles and do my best to keep him straight. Calvin was holding him the other day and as his little head was bobbing around Calvin said, "Mom, I don't think Charlie has his head screwed on tight." Haha! He was so sincere about it too. Charlie is often the favorite of the babies for kids to hold due to his cute little peanut size. He has such a charming little smile and I have captured many pictures of him looking into his daddy's eyes. 

Oh Charlie and Henry, we love these precious two. Happy 2 months babies! :)

Henry and Charlie (photo credit Bethany Draper)

Henry (photo credit Bethany Draper)

Henry crying and Charlie in Christmas sweaters

Henry and his big winky smile 

Henry

Charlie

Charlie

H&C

Henry in the bumbo...looking so big!

Charlie...looking at something! 

Henry sleeping...kisses

 

A post on Motherhood

I've been thinking a lot about motherhood lately. About what a gift it truly is. Every time I look into my babies' eyes I am reminded of what miracles they are, how high I hoped for them, how hard I prayed for them, how deeply I wept to have the chance to bring home a newborn baby all swaddled up from the hospital again. 

I'll never forget how low I felt the day Jeff and I learned he was no longer fertile. I'll never forget how low I watched him sink. The depression we both felt was so heavy. being diagnosed as sterile is not something you expect to hear after having had 3 children...easily.  We felt lost for a while in a dark, lonely ocean of questions and confusion. 

It was early summer 2012. We had been trying for a baby for nearly a year. Before that we had been trying NOT to have a baby. But this time around, things weren't working and we both knew we needed to take the next step. We had to go to the Dr. 

After many tests for the both of us, we learned that the hernia surgery Jeff had in Dec. of 2010 left him with scar tissue resulting in his infertily. 

We both struggled with our feelings of utter devastation. Such unexpected, and awful news! These feelings coupled with our immense gratitude for the three boys we already had made it difficult to accept. The inner termoil was unbearable. It didn't feel right to feel such sadness, when at the same time we knew we were still so blessed. 

Together we decided to research some infertility clinics and procedures. I personally wanted to find a way, or at least know for certain that we had tried everything in our power before giving up and moving on. 

Seven months after our devastating news we began the In-vitro fertilization process at the University of Utah. We were blessed to have a successful cycle on our first try and now have fraternal baby boy twins!!

Henry and Charles are 2 months old now! They are healthy and happy and just the perfect fit in our family! In fact, I know I loved them and lnew them before they were even born. There is just such a special connection we have. I can't even explain it. 

For me to be here now...in this wonderful blissful, sleepless, predicament...with twin baby boys!!! you just can't imagine how lucky I feel, how blessed I know I am, how amazed I am at these precious little humans that are mine. 

As difficult as motherhood can be, I wouldn't trade it for the world! 

I have relaxed so much in my parenting since having my first baby. Rather than get worked up over having everything under control, and trying to do too many things, I find more joy in the little things. I try to have a positive perspective, and a healthy sense of humor. I mean let's be honest, kids can be dang funny!! 

There are times when it's just pure survival... times when it feels like I'm just going through the motions, making it through the day, or biding my time until Jeff gets home to help me, or Calvin or Ben (they're such good little helpers). Those are the times when I have to remind myself to take a step back and find the joy in it all. My mom used to say that (when she was short on sleep and even shorter on patience) she felt like a wounded animal, and "once you're down like that everyone will prey upon you".

So, I try not to let myself be the "wounded animal" or get overcome by my five feeding-frenzied fellas.  

I've learned to not sweat the small stuff. I can live with some pizza delivery,  I can manage without a sparkling clean kitchen. The piles of laundry will get done eventually. Heck- people probably think I'm raising a bunch of super heroes over here with the way my kids go about the neighborhood in costumes more than regular clothes! And some of the outfits they choose to wear to school??!!! Yeah, I've become that mom. The mom who lets her 2nd grader wear all camouflage from head to toe. I'm the mom whose 3 year old proudly exclaims, "it's opposite day mom!" as he runs around with his pants and shirt on backwards...the-whole-entire-day! And I'm the mom who might not even get herself dressed in "real" clothes but would rather lounge in pajama pants or her pink robe all day! 

All that being said, I couldn't do any of this child rearing without my family and friends -and I have the best of both! 

Friends who come clean my bathrooms and mop my floors when I'm on bed rest and long after I'm home from the hospital. Friends who take my little 3 year old who was used to having all of his mama's attention to come over and play and have fun. Friends who bring me meals and shop for groceries, and stop to visit and admire my cute little ones. Friends who smile and send a thoughtful text message. A husband who brings home the "bacon" and the dinner! A sister who comes all the way up to highlight my hair. A mom and little sis who cant wait to get their hands on some nakey babies and give them baths. It's a night out knowing that the babies are fine. It's hand-me-down baby clothes when you're in need. Its the diaper doorbell ditching that the whole family gets excited over! 

Most of all it's the encouraging message they're all sending that says, "you've got this mama, you can do it."  It's really the little things that count. 

 

So bring on the boogie noses, the stinky diapers, the sibling sword fights and colicky late nights. Bring on the Legos, the broken crayons and the bunk bed forts. Bring on the cardboard box that's the favorite gift of all. Bring on the stretch marks and the sore unmentionable parts, the sea of toys and riptide of dishes! This mama is going to "hang ten"! 

It's all so worth it!

I love being a mom! What a special gift I've been given this year, and for the rest of my life. 

Merry Christmas!

Catching up

I need to catch up on a lot of things! We've been swimming, when Em and Jor stayed at a hotel in Logan for the weekend, the kids had a blast...

Tommy Ollie and Calvin

calvin

Benny

Benny

Tommy

Henry asleep on the lounge chair

The kids and I and our friends the Staleys  went to the fun park for Ann's birthday!i wish I had more pictures, but are sons cute roller skating buddies

Tommy and Boston

Calvin got to escort the ladies (me, my mom, Em, Alivia, and Bella) to the nutcracker. He liked it and we had a great time together! 

Tommy is having the best experience in preschool! He was so proud of his reindeer hat he made!

Calvin came up with the BEST Christmas list this year! All kinds of survival gear (they've been watching Bear Grylls) and of course number 33 is $1000.00 haha! Why not? 

It's a lite blury, but Henry has been smiling! Charlie too, but Henry does it more frequently. And he likes the Bumbo seat...

Charlie getting ready for a bath, this boy loves his Tubbies! 

Just talking with Charlie here... I live my little bendy boy. Calvin said the other day that he didn't Charlie had his head screwed on tight. He's not as strong as Henry yet. Funny brother! :)

Tommy Henry and Benny

Smiley boys

Henry looks so big! So handsome!

Just playin'

Tommy has been camping out in his room, sleeps in his tent at night! Love my outdoorsy boys! 

My view as I blog this... :) 

I'm gonna go tickle a certain little 3 year old right now! 

Thanksgiving 2013

I'll have to post the family pictures from my nice camera later, but for now I have this one of Hailey feeding Charlie. We partied down at Rob and Christy's this year. We had a very nice meal and played a fun game all in good company! Jeff and I were talking about all the reasons we have to be so thankful this year. We feel so blessed that we have two healthy babies, Jeff's career finally fell into place, we are surrounded by the best friends and family anyone could ask for and that's only the beginning! We are very humbled by the blessings the Lord has graciously bestowed upon us this year! It's been unforgettable! 

Jeff and Tommy chillin' with Henry. 

Happy Turkey day! :)

Babies' Blessing Day

It was a very special day today. Henry and Charles were blessed. Jeff did a really good job giving two blessings! He said he was touched by what special little spirits these boys are. I tried not to cry the whole entire time!  I couldn't help but think that one year ago in December we decided to go ahead with the IVF process.  I wanted another baby so much. I felt our family wasn't complete, I prayed desperately for a miracle! 

 I am so thankful that our prayers were answered! I still can't believe we have twins! (except for when theyre both crying and I cant console them very easily, or when I take them somewhere and unload a suitcase of a diaper bag two car seats, and cause a big scene! :)  At the same time I say all of that, I also don't know how our lives would be without them! 

I'm the happiest mom alive!

Happy Blessing day to my two little stinkers! :)